Cohabitation or friend with benefits?

Dotun Roy

In modern society today, it is known fact that old moral values are being discarded and new ones are being invented on daily basis. Just like the saying when new bucket is purchased old one is dumped in the waste bin. As old as these values are, they are fundamentals of wholesome and positive living. In the last two decades, there have been increased in the percentage of young people who cohabit with their partners. Actually the word cohabitation is not new, but the act was not as this prevalent in the past compare to what we have today.

Cohabitation could mean different things to different people, to some it means just bunking with a friend, to others, it is pairing apartment with a friend with benefits etc. However, according to an English Dictionary Cohabitation is an arrangement where two people who are not married live together in an emotionally and/or sexually intimate relationship on a long-term or permanent basis which in other term could mean ‘living in sin’.

Today, cohabitation has become like a norm the ‘in thing’ amongst young people particularly those living in the major cities. Most times their reasons for cohabitation are not justifiable. Lack of accommodation or unemployment and even financial security from the so called partners and many more are the reasons giving. Irrespective of your age, greed, religion and ideological persuasion, if you are involving in cohabitation, you are not doing the right thing because it is morally wrong. Call me moralist if you like, your opinion does count. Without judging from religious perspective, logically, as a young woman when you live with a man whom you are not married to, he will definitely take advantage of you, there is no two way about it. It makes you cheap. I know most ladies love to cohabit so as to monitor and prevent their men for cheating with another woman. If only they knew that a cheat will always cheat irrespective of what you do.

Even as a young man if you move in with a woman simply because of the financial gains you would get from her, it makes you a pushover and sooner than later she will kick your ass to the kerb and look for someone better than you. I heard some guy saying to my hearing the other day that any woman that would marry him must stay with him for couple of months called trial period to enable him test run what he is buying. What a comedian!

We are and have all being guilty of this act at some point in our lives. Those undergraduate days, most ladies loved to put up with brilliant dudes during exams period all that. It is emotion sapping and abusive.

Funnily enough, cohabitation is not limited to one region or continent it is everywhere today and it is the reason why divorce is everywhere. Cohabitation makes you become weary of your life partner and even take the relationship for granted. We must endeavour to seek what is morally right at all times.
There is no sin if your intending life partner spend weekends with you, go to movies and hang out together. It forms the basis of true relationship, but learn how to check yourselves. It helps build the trust which is the foundation of true love and successful marriage.

Ciao.