Deceit in courtship

By Oladotun

One of the most worrisome issues amongst the youths in the recent times is failed relationship and courtship. A lot of controversies and debate have been organized via social media, television and even radio programmes on what to do in order to have a healthy relationship with an opposite sex? How can one have a successful relationship that may eventually end in marriage? How can a lady identify a player man in a relationship even if he pretends to be real lover? many of these questions and many more are been asked by the curious and inquisitive young persons who are dying to be in one relationship or the other but do not want to fall victims of falling in love with the wrong persons and end up being used and dumped. Speaking of being used and dumped, nowadays, not only women can be used and dumped, men are fast becoming victims of being used and dumped, I say this with all conviction and stand to be corrected. Oftentimes than not, most men do feel that they are in control when it comes to relationship, dating and courtship and even sex, they feel women are at the receiving end, and that they can always change their girlfriend at will like clothes. Yes, they are right to some extent, women truly are the receiving end. But today, table is gradually turning, men are now falling victims of unserious ladies who would pretend to be seriously in love with you and make you crave for their presence, their touch, their kisses and even their motherly care but their ulterior motives would soon dawn on you when after milking your money and your emotions till you are psychological sapped, dropped a note or even sent a text message that they are no longer interested in you. Apparently, they have moved on with another victims. These ladies move from one man to another ruining their love lives.
Now, if I may ask, who are we to blame now in this game of deceit in relationship and dating? Nobody. It is so evident that both sexes are now at the receiving end and guilty. This is kind of chain reaction with some catastrophic domino effects on the society and family values. What do I mean by this? these ladies did not just become insensitive and heartless toward men by devastating their love lives and marriages, they too were once victims of heartbreak, disappointment and rejection from someone, somewhere and sometimes. And as a result of that bitter experience they sworn to take back their pound of flesh on every man that crosses their path. With that vengeful heart they set out “manhunting” until their victims falls into their traps.
Some years back I heard of a young lady, fresh graduate from one of the reputable universities in th country. She fell in love with a supposedly responsible and decent young man during her internship and they both agreed to get married. But all her hope was soon dashed as her husband to be dumped her and left the country with another woman, a week to her engagement. Well, I learnt the guy found out her past that’s why he fled! Such story is no longer new to many people because deceit and falsehood is becoming the foundation upon which many relationships and courtships are built. This is where most young people are getting it wrong, your partner must be your best friend in whom you can confide, tell him or her your inner most secrets without doubt and fear of rejection and your partner should be able to accept you and your past, your mustn’t hide any of your past at all, if you want a successful relationship.