By Oladotun F. Olumuyiwa
For some reasons, whenever subject around toxicity or toxic traits comes up, most people don’t feel it concerns or has something to do with them.
But sorry to burst your bubble buddy, it concerns everyone! And I mean, every single soul in human flesh has tendencies to exhibit one or multiple toxic traits. Strange isn’t it?
Most toxic traits manifest either as some sort of deliberate act of responding to our immediate environment or an act of defence mechanism to cover some areas of our deficiencies.
Who are those with toxic traits you asked? Everybody! Be you a clergy man, a Professor, a medical doctor, Governor, politicians just name it. Nobody is exempted when it comes to the topic of toxic traits. We all have them!
So how do we identify toxic traits?
Toxic Traits are those attributes that form an integral part of human personality.
These traits are formed due to the kind of background we were raised in, exposure and experiences that shaped our lives.
They manifest either through our reflexes or subconscious minds at times. Too often we have little or no control over these Traits.
And because it has become part and parcel of our nature, we hardly notice until someone close to us calls our attention to them.
You see that jealous streak or envious tendency you don’t see as anything? It is a toxic trait.
That pettiness of yours? Yeah, that is one of them.
Gaslighting is another toxic trait.
Arrogance, over-suspicious, overbearing nature, gossiping, entitlement mentality, lack of accountability, exaggeration, mood swings, greed, self centeredness, poke-nosing, lies… ecteera. The list goes infinitum.
It must be noted that toxic traits aren’t gender based. It manifests in both sexes.
Interestingly, both sexes can exhibit similar toxic traits.
The implication for both sexes having similar toxic traits could be a red flag in a relationship and marriages.
And in some cases where one tends to hide his or hers, such a relationship may just be a ticking time bomb.
How do we overcome our toxic traits?
Be open to correction and constructive criticisms. Do not be too defensive when those around you call your attention to your flaws.
Admit that you are not perfect and be intentional to work on yourself.
Avoid the company of toxic people. Knowing your weaknesses and the efforts you are putting to work on it should guide you towards the kind of company you keep. Remember, evil communication corrupts good manners.
Seeing a therapist or shrink also helps a great deal. This is because some toxic traits are picked up due past trauma and some abuses we suffered growing up.
So, seeing a therapist might help in getting the right healing sessions in order to overcome these past trauma.
Above all, be intentional about your growth as well as the changes you would want to see in your personality, as this would help in building healthy foundation for interpersonal relationships with those around you.