Identifying and Dealing With Judgemental People

Dotun Roy

The world is full of judgemental people and we all must have experienced them one time or the other in our lives. Whether a boss, co-worker, family member, church member, religious people, friend, partner or perhaps, a passing stranger, once they are judgmental, they always have some critical remarks and judgement on everything we do, be it  right or wrong. But the good thing is, dwelling on their negativity and critical outlook is completely up to us, we can choose not to.

While some judgmental people never change, it is helpful to know where their negativity stems from, and how exactly you should navigate their particular social nature. You need to know and accept some interesting realizations about why exactly judgmental people are the way they are:

Most judgemental people are critical of everything. Whether people or things, their opinions are focused on purely negative aspects, and fail to see much that is amazing. So it is safe to say they are the ones with the problem. And as much as they would like you to believe that everyone else is the problem, and they are near perfect, the flaw in their arguments is glaring. It is important to also know that their judgmental and hypercritical point of view comes from deeply rooted personal insecurities and unhappiness. Judgemental people feel extremely vulnerable about their own lives, and thus, prey on the people around them in order to feel better about their own situation, or self.

Judgemental people also lack empathy and they are insecure. Highly judgmental people don’t have the ability to understand, and share another person’s feelings. They are never willing to see the world through another’s eyes and therefore discredit anyone else’s beliefs, choices, fears, and opinions that differ greatly from their own. They don’t realize the pain or offence they may cause someone by one of their judgmental comments, or perhaps they just really don’t care. Judgemental people always fail to see there are multiple perspectives of the world. And they often fail to see that there are many ways of looking at the world, and everything in it. This inability to see diversity causes much of their judgment. They also believe there is only one true answer to any question, and this belief allows them to believe they are right in judging other people who don’t share their same beliefs, or opinions
So, if these are some of the truths about highly judgmental people, how are we supposed to deal with them? How do we deal with their incessant critical point of view?

KNOW YOURSELF, AND BE CONFIDENT.
 

Judgmental people can quickly make you doubt yourself and your beliefs with their constant critical remarks. And to deal with them, you need to know, and be sure of yourself. They will constantly want you to believe that your opinion or viewpoint is incorrect, but you must know within yourself that you are entitled to your own way of looking at the world, and yourself. Judgemental people will comment on your known insecurity, such as a particular part of your body, or perhaps a mistake you’ve made in the past. But to counter them, you need to embrace what you have, embrace your mistakes, and what you believe, and be sure not to let any judgmental person leave you guessing about yourself or taking their comments as credible observation or advice.

DON’T TAKE THEIR NEGATIVITY TO HEART.
 

Remember that judgemental people are the ones with true insecurities, and their negativity comes from within. So, don’t take their negativity seriously. Their negativity is not a reflection of you, but of their own reaction to your situation or your person. If you know yourself, what you believe to be true, and frankly feel good in your own skin, then you cannot let their negativity and critical view of the world bring you down.

CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES CAREFULLY WITH JUDGMENTAL PEOPLE.
 

Some of us like a good argument. But remember that you cannot control a judgemental person’s actions, but you can control your own reaction/response. The futility in arguing with highly judgmental people is their inability to see multiple points of view. And trust me they enjoy an argument because it allows them to say many more critical things about you and your situation. So it’s better to be the bigger person and steer clear of any arguments, as you will most likely never win, and at the end of the argument, you will undoubtedly have gained nothing simply because they would have refused to see your side of the story and try to compare notes.

But note that you can’t always avoid judgemental people as some of them are our family members or colleagues or even bosses. But you can deal with them in a way that will rid you off their negativity and help you grow as a person in life. You can also learn more about yourself and another person based on how well you are able to react to their judgemental and negative view of life.

 Cheers!